To Bond Or Not To Bond
They chose to approach me about it while we were at Fangtasia and Alcide had opted to make himself busy with pack dealings, so that bastard was in on it. They had both worn dresses I had bought for them and they sat on my lap and started the seductive behavior that no man, living or dead would be numb enough to resist. Sookie and Pam need to but kiss in front of me and it takes every bit of steel to not disappear and ignore the world until none of us can walk.
Since the shooting, Pam and Sookie had been thick as thieves. More like their own couple within our family of four. What once was a playful tease, meant to torment and encourage Alcide and me, had grown into something more intimate. The lap rubbing and playful contact between the two of them remained, but the feelings in the bond had changed and the two of them were starting to share the occasional passionate moment for the benefit of the moment rather than a tease. They had, of course, shared blood before in small quantities, but when Pam gave Sookie her blood to save her life, their relationship changed from friendship and trust to something far more profound.
When they first spoke of it, I was angered.
The primary reason for it was their choice of venue. Had they done it at home and approached me without the manipulative performance, I’d have been less affronted. They both fucking knew better. They were both very lucky that I didn’t punish them both on the spot. As it was, I ordered them from my lap and didn’t make contact with either of them for the rest of the evening; spoken, physical or visual.
The only thing to pull me out of my resentful mood was their feelings as I drove the 3 of us home that night. I was emotionally bookended by identical compounds of disappointment, sadness and fear.
Fear. Pamela had, in the course of our long relationship, felt many things akin to fear of me. Usually it was in response to a foul mood and more of a bête noire or general anxiety. This, however, was new. Pamela was truly afraid of me, what’s more: they were both terrified. Sookie’s shields were steadfast in spite of her tears. So I had no help with their motivations for wanting a permanent bond. And I’d be damned if I was willing to speak to either of them about it after they tried to influence me with sex.
Upon returning to the house that I night, they both went to their rooms silently and I went to my office. I have no idea of how much time had passed (hours, I am sure) before Alcide returned to the nest. I listened as he went to his room and then a while later went to my room. Eventually, after checking in with both of ‘them’ he appeared in the doorway to the office and leaned against the jamb.
“I’m in no mood to hear a plea from them. They tried to manipulate me with sex again.”
He stood there like a concerned statue. Wordless and staring at nothing in particular. I tried to be angry at his intrusion, but the son of a bitch was actually a ridiculous form of comfort. It hadn’t taken me long to warm up to him and in recent months, found in him something I hadn’t realized I had wanted. When I found Sookie, I had found love and passion; gaining a wife. When Alcide came into the picture, I had found friendship and alliance; gaining a brother.
I fumed a while longer under the watchful chaperone of my friend before I changed my mind.
“Why do they want a formal bond?”
“Not just one reason… Pam has had more intense emotions since she had Sookie’s blood, moreso since Sookie had so much of hers. She knows that you feel more alive now that you’re with her and it gives Pam hope. She likes the differences she’s noticed in herself… except the crying.”
I snorted to mask that I was fighting a chuckle. “The other reasons?”
“When Pam gave Sookie blood to heal her, they had already talked about it- a bond. Sookie must have gotten a lot because last week, Pam thought she felt the babies move… inside her. Sookie is already dead set on sharing the pregnancy and the girls with Pam. The bond would give Pam everything Sookie gets from the pregnancy.”
“Is that everything?”
“All of the sincere reasons. Of course there are the fringe benefits.” He gave me a smirk knowing that I wouldn’t mind hearing what I’d get out of it. And the ‘fringe’ would, indeed, make things more interesting around here.
“How do you feel about the two of them being bonded when the two of you aren’t?”
“I like the bond I have with both of them without blood. The two of them being bonded to each other won’t change how I feel about them or how they feel about me.”
I sat and considered that for a few minutes. He wasn’t just talking about himself; the prick was giving me advice.
I stopped wasting time on my emotional turbulence and Alcide and I started planning.
That was 8 days ago. As Alcide crawled out of bed this morning to meet me and the children downstairs, he sent Pam to my room to await their surprise.
Over the course of the last few months, I had seen Sookie make ‘Bennies’ at least a dozen times and I knew she’d been craving them. Alcide played with his new found thermokinetic powers to put together chocolate covered oranges and strawberries. The four of us worked as a team to make breakfast in bed for the women of the family.
The children carried gifts and burst through the bedroom doors as Pam and Sookie lay in the bed talking quietly. “Happy Mothers’ Day!”
We all enjoyed the surprised smiles on their faces. Pamela took the napkin from the tray to hide her tears. It has occurred to me that I robbed her of motherhood when I turned her. I’d caught myself feeling bittersweet about it. Selfish as I am, only truly realizing what a marvelous mother she could have been while being thankful for how well she was tending to my needs at the time.
Sookie nibbled at her food as the kids boasted about their hand in preparing it until they couldn’t stand the waiting any longer. They bounced forward on the bed and thrust Momma and Mummy’s gifts at them.
Sookie and Pam excitedly opened the slender robin’s egg blue boxes on a three count, revealing identical diamond and sapphire bracelets set in platinum. Hunter beat Alcide and I to explain that the diamonds were Hunter and Manen’s birthstone and Dagny and Erika will have the sapphire. Pam and Sookie both cried appreciative tears while Alcide and I helped them with the clasps. They thanked us and the children several more times with kisses and hugs, causing my heart to feel more than it should be capable of in its state.
When the kids had settled from their excitement, I handed them the little blue boxes intended for Angela. The children had picked out a petite heart pendant and solitaire earrings for her to let her know that she wasn’t forgotten on the occasion.
Once they were out of the room, Alcide and I had one more gift. We went and sat on the bed and I reached across and handed the box to Pam.
She quizzically peered at me as she untied the ribbon and slowly removed the lid to the box. She stared at the contents of the box as Cleopatra would look at an iPod. I couldn’t fight my amused smile. Pam looked back and forth between Alcide and me, hoping for more explanation. I stood up and kissed Sookie’s forehead and then crossed the room to do the same to Pam.
I whispered in her ear. “Happy Mother’s Day Pamela. Enjoy your gift.”
As I closed the door to the room behind Alcide and I, I watch Pam take the lapis and turquoise inlaid dagger from its box to show it to Sookie, her soon to be bonded.