Storm Before The Calm
Wednesday, January 13th…
My eyes opened when my wrist was grabbed. It was Sookie. “You need a watch.” I’d have gotten her a watch of her own if I didn’t get a weird, warm fuzzy feeling when she uses mine.
She giggled, even perky in the morning. “Why? I already have yours.”
When she tried to bolt for the door, all three of us grabbed her. I wasn’t even sure if Pam and Eric were completely awake.
“I’ll come back. I have to muster the security guards.”
I growled at her, but I was the first to let her loose.
Once she was through the door, Pam rolled onto her back. “How the hell does she do that? I know it’s been a while for me, but isn’t 8 hours the norm?”
“You’re right. It is eight hours. She drives me nuts. One night she slept over, she got out of bed and made cookies so that I could have ice cream sandwiches in my freezer… then changed my oil.”
“Changed your oil?”
“Yeah. And the night before I left town for Christmas, she stayed up making banana nut bread for me to take with me in a gift basket for Janice, packed my bag, loaded my gifts and made me breakfast, oh yeah and cleaned my house top to bottom so that I wouldn’t come home and have to worry about anything.”
Pam looked at me like I was high. “You’re not kidding? Do you think it’s the Dae we’re suspecting?”
“I do, Eric?”
He growled and covered his face with his pillow. “I miss being dead. How the fuck does anyone sleep? You’re incessant! Eyes closed. Brain function off. Life was simple when I was dead.”
Pam and I gave each other a look and started laughing. “You’re kind of a bitch in the morning.”
More growling. “Yes. Yes. Yes. I think her restlessness is a side effect of being Dae. Now shut the fuck up.”
I was trying to stifle my laughter, but he was making it too hard. “What do you think would happen if you try coffee?”
“I don’t know. I can tell you what will happen if I don’t get some sleep. Shut the fuck up.”
“I’m going to tell Sookie that you’re being mean to me for no reason.”
“I’ll tell her you have a collection of heads under your house.”
“But that’s not true.”
“It can be. Shut. The. Fuck. Up.”
I almost laughed, but Pam put her hand over my mouth in time to catch it. But I thought that ‘maybe he just needs to cuddle’ a little too loud.
As he growled ‘mother fucker’, I was hit with a ton of bricks in my chest and it took me a minute to realize that Mr. Cranky hit me with a pillow.
I got my air back finally. “I didn’t say it, jerk off! Sorry… Wait. You’re freaking the fuck out aren’t you?”
He rolled his eyes and set his jaw. “Never mind that she might as well be criminally insane as soon as she claims the babies are mine. Never mind that she told me last night she wasn’t ready for this. I have one word for you. Komplikationer.”
I had no fucking clue what he meant, but Pam tensed up. “Translate later. She told you she wasn’t ready?”
“Yes. Whether she’s ‘ready for it or not’. She was only starting to admit to herself that she wanted to have children of her own.”
I snorted at him. “You’re gonna have to get over that shit. You need to get your big blond head out of your ass and settle down. You’re worse than Sookie used to be.”
“You know damn good and well, Mr. Perfect Memory, ‘last year Sookie’ would have gone running from the yard to hide from having to try to explain how you got her pregnant. ‘Last year Eric’ would have sat in his office and calmly meditated on how to calm her down enough to get it out of her. Now she’s the one who gets her shit together enough to tell you and you’re laying in bed flipping your shit… and trying to kill people with pillows. Whatever she got from Niall’s little game has leveled her out enough to be reasonable. Settle your ass down before you find out the hard way if you can have a heart attack now.… Now what the fuck is a Klompenheimer?”
“Komplikationer means complications. The kind of complications that kill women all the time. Women who are far more likely than Sookie to rest or listen to the concerns of those who love her instead of dismissing them. The kind of complication that might be avoidable if she had ever been humble enough to ask for help. That would be the Komplikationer I was talking about.”
“FUCK YOU! Now I’m flipping my shit! Thanks!”
“You should have let me sleep.”
She didn’t sleep. Sookie came back, just like she promised she would, but she lay in the middle of the bed wide awake. She might as well have been twiddling her thumbs. I dozed off a couple of times, but none of us got any real rest.
When Sookie’s stomach growled loud enough that I thought it was Eric, he chuckled and gave her ‘permission’ to go downstairs and make breakfast. I followed her, uninterested in getting pummeled with another pillow.
I was sitting at the bar in my usual spot, watching the coffee pot perk and it felt weird. I was just about to say something when Sookie ordered me to go take my shower. Yes, ma’am.
All I can say is that Sookie and I are creatures of habit. Plain and simple. As soon as I was under the water, everything felt normal…
…Even better when I came back into the kitchen (shirt in hand) and she had my coffee out for me.
“All is right with the world.”
I gave her a big hug, trying to congratulate her, when that pain in my ass Tobin came to the back door. Just in time for coffee and his morning brownie points.
He gave her updates, she gave him chores. He hung out long enough to talk baseball and watch Sookie brush my hair like it was a sideshow.
After the weird ass wake up I had the last thing I was in the mood to do was babysit his ass.
I wanted to shit myself when all it took was Eric coming downstairs. The kid was gone like a shot. I wanted to laugh my ass off.
Especially once I found out we were going to Merlotte’s for lunch… Eric was just as perked up by the idea.
When Jason signed up for the field trip, I almost did a little happy dance.
We were waiting for everyone to get ready when Sookie’s phone rang.
Sookie’s eyes lit up when they asked for ‘Mrs. Northman’. It was cute, to say the least, but I forgot about it pretty quickly.
The phone call was because the King of Florida wants to send us to Disney World. Okay. For the record: My folks never took me and Janice to Disney World. Money was never the issue, like with Sookie and Jason, my parents were just assholes. It wasn’t educational enough. The closest to Disney I ever got was when they let me go to Busch Gardens with some friends before I left for college.
Sookie planned the trip so that we’d have the whole family with us while we’re at court and over the kids’ birthdays. I’m nearly 30… I want my birthday at Disney.
By the time she hung up, I was fully aware that I was staring. I’ll admit it. I was queer for Disney.
As soon as Eric was done stressing that Sookie might have already told someone about being pregnant (when would she have done that? In the shower? Damn) I jumped on the topic.
“So who’s going?”
“The four of us, Febes, Azo and Dozer, Jason and Janice, Hunter, Manen and Tommy, Angela, our clerks and my PA.”
PA? Whatever. I wanted to call Janice and tell her. She’d be just as fucking stoked as I was… wait. Jason. I bet he’d be pumped too!
I was about to yell for him when I realized the ‘PA’ part of the list was something I needed to pay attention to. Shit.
“Lover, what made you change your mind?”
She smiled at him. “Last night… I promised you that I would get one if I got overwhelmed. Well right now, getting to that point isn’t a good idea. N’est-ce pas?”
He had an ‘I won’ look on his face when he hugged her. “How do you want to handle the search?”
When he pulled back, Sookie looked at me. “I have someone in mind. Someone who has knowledge of the family; how we are, how we do things. Someone with knowledge of the Fangtasia project and someone who can help hold down the fort when Alcide and I travel making sure that there are groceries and whatnot.” Who the fuck would know that much about how we…. FUCK!
“No. Come on! Him?”
The vampire thought I was funny. “Who?”
“Tobin!” That’s ‘who’! The ass-kiss thorn in my nuts!
“Alcide, sweetie…” Sookie leaned into me and batted her eyes. Shit. She’s wearing that color again… deep blue eyes… almost begging. Fuck.
“Don’t do that. Don’t try to soften me up. He irks me and you know it.”
“He only irks you because you’re posturing. He’s been on point running that camp this week. He was the one that helped us with Angela’s surprise because he thought outside the box. He’ll do a very good job and he needs the money for school. Every time I set him loose, instead of going and playing like the others, he goes back to his bus and studies. He’s a good kid.”
Good kid, my ass! I looked over to Eric and he looked like he couldn’t possibly understand why I’d have a problem with the guy. Fuck. He can be dense! “Did you know he got a hard on dancing with her at the zoo, twice?”
The mother fucker laughed. “Who hasn’t?” That’s not the god damn point!
She pouted her lip out, drifting her fingernails over my chest… Damn it. There wasn’t any winning this one. “Fine, but the fucker doesn’t live in.”
She kissed my cheek and I could feel how happy she was that I gave up when she hugged me.
When Bobby came in he had a stack of sealed envelopes for Sookie that she took to the bar to start going through.
Eric went over to Bobby and I had to bite my lip to not laugh…
“Bobby, you need to find a replacement for Tobin.”
“Has he done something wrong?”
“No. He’s proved himself to be too valuable for Sookie to let him go. He’s going to be offered the position of Sookie’s Personal Assistant.”
“Oh. I see.” That loosely translated to ‘what’s a slut like her need an assistant for?’.
“He’ll finish out the assignment of valet on your payroll and as of Monday, he’ll belong to her.”
“So we’ll go back to the original arrangement. If I need anything, I’ll let you know via phone or email and you’ll get instruction from Tobin as well.”
He nodded, and Eric even looked amused at the ‘go fuck yourself’ look Bobby gave him.
Once Bobby left (he’d stomped out like he’d gotten grounded), curiosity about the folders got the best of us, so we got nosey. It turns out that in spite of Mr. Business’s centuries of experience and my IRS nightmare last year from inheriting a multi state construction company, Sookie was the one who thought of the raping she’d get for all the cash Bill left her. She really did have a mind for business. As Eric and I looked it over, we realized that she was probably dead on about how much she should donate as a tax shelter. She could probably run it all for us.
Fangtasia was practically building itself. We really didn’t need to keep stopping in the way we were, but Sookie liked checking on things. It wasn’t so much that she was worried something would go wrong as much as she wanted to make sure she didn’t miss ANYTHING. I don’t think that she understands that she’d already spanked the project. The workers looked like slaves when we walked in and barely looked up while she was there except to answer her questions.
When we walked into her friend Tara’s store, I thought I was going to need a hearing aid after. The squeal Tara let loose was frightening.
While Sookie lied about why Tara was getting the deed to the property and caught up with her friend, Jason took Hunter to get a haircut next door so Eric and I started shopping with nothing else to do.
“I like the store she took you to yesterday better.”
“As do I. It’s all organized by size…”
“… This way you see something you like and it’s elephant size.”
“Or it’s the right size as long as Sookie or Pam want to dress like a circus clown or an elderly woman on the way to church…”
“…Complete with matching hat.” I pointed to the wall o’ bonnets along the back and Eric looked like he was going to gag.
“This one isn’t bad, but green looks like shit on both of them.”
“No argument here. Sookie’s too tan, Pam isn’t tan enough.”
“I like Sookie in pink or white.”
I nodded. “Pam looks good in light blue, but yellow sets off her eyes.”
We heard giggling and found Manen between racks laughing at us. We knew we sounded like goons, so we stuck our tongues out at the 6 year old who reminded us of the fact.
“I know why I don’t mind shopping for women, what’s your deal?”
Eric raised an eyebrow at me. “Pamela has trained me. You?”
I laughed at him for admitting it. “My mother hated shopping. She’d always send me to help Janice with Prom and stuff like that. She knew I’d make sure she had something respectable, but nice and she could blame me if Dad didn’t approve of the amount.”
“You’re only 2, 3 years older?”
“Three almost four.”
“But you took care of her.”
“No more than Jason should have looked after Sookie.”
He shrugged. “I’m getting the feeling that he would have though. I think perhaps his protective nature might have been part of the package.”
I nodded. “Could be, but humans watch out for little sisters too. It’s not a Were trait.”
“Fair enough, but have you noticed how different he is from how Sookie described him. Do you think she was exaggerating?”
“You’ve got me there. He… Hey, I saw that one first.” He’d snatched a turquoise and peach dress off the rack before I could get to it.
He laughed at me. “I’m faster. You were saying?”
“Dick. She said that he doesn’t have any common sense and he’s dumb…”
“…And a whore. But from what I’m picking up, he just has simple tastes combined with a minimal education. Did she mention any abuse? It got back to me that he hit her once. That he reacted badly when their grandmother was murdered.”
“That’s all she ever told me about. If that’s the only time he ever laid a hand on her, I guess he…”
“Yeah. Grief makes an asshole do shit he doesn’t mean.” It probably hurt her more that I stopped talking to her after my father died than when Jason slapped her.
“I am not your therapist.”
“Fuck you. I wasn’t confessing anything, asshole. Just stating a fact.”
He started chuckling.
“Dick. Stay out of my head.”
“I thought I was allowed since we’re sleeping together.”
I probably would have broken my hand punching him in his smug face if Sookie hadn’t asked if we’d cleaned Tara out yet because she was getting hungry.
By the time we were done, we had cleared Tara out of every size 4 dress (except for green ones) all the matching shoes and every bra and panty set in 32C or D she had. Eric and I managed to spend 3 grand. If we had been at the other store, we could have easily gone into 5 digits.
Eric sent Sookie and Jason into Merlotte’s ahead of us, using the kids as an excuse to hang back.
“The yokels think that the two of you are a couple?”
“Yeah. It was easier that way. Once she sat on my lap a few times, the grunts stopped grabbing her… grabbing at her.”
“Sookie set Merlotte straight on New Years. He said that she was just a trophy to you, then told her that I treat her like property.”
“I get how he’d think she’s a trophy, but what has he ever seen to make him think you treat her like property?”
“Your guess is as good as mine. Bill was fond of ‘mine’.”
I snorted at him. “You are too.”
“My lover, initially my telepath. He was fond of the word as it meant before he was born. Pet.”
“No kidding. How much fun do you want to have in there?”
He spaced out for a minute, no doubt sizing things up inside. “He’s behind the bar watching her. Go in first and kiss her.”
“You following up with a ditto?”
“Probably. If Sookie doesn’t punch you.”
“No. I’m just throwing you to the wolves.”
Sam spotted me the second I walked in carrying Hunter. I set him down and leaned over to give Sookie a kiss, bracing myself for a broken rib. She wrapped her lips around my bottom lip and didn’t fight me when I put my tongue into play. Alpha. She was making a point to Merlotte.
Once I got my eyes to focus, I cleared my throat. “Holly’s section?”
She grinned and took my hand until we started pulling tables together. I snuck a look in Merlotte’s direction. He was gawking. It was hilarious. Eric came in and set Manen down and I watched ‘Lassie’ when Eric dittoed. It was hard not to laugh at the vein throbbing in his forehead.
I helped Hunter with the menu while Sookie caught up with Holly, thankfully without squealing this time. I used to not mind the diner food, but now that Sookie had been cooking 3 meals a day, nothing looked edible.
Sookie put in her order for a burger Lafayette and took off to talk to the Mayor. As soon as Holly was gone, Jason leaned over the table and started laughing about Sam’s reaction to our entrances.
Eric kicked him under the table. “Knock it off Stackhouse. If Sookie finds out how much fun this is, she’ll make us leave early.”
He dialed it back enough to laugh through his nose instead.
Hunter mumbled, “I don’t like it here.”
I patted his back. “Don’t worry, kid. By the time we’re done we probably won’t be allowed back.”
“I saw you here.”
“When Mrs. Grady was looking for Momma. You were with Far when he told the red haired lady that she was evil. And the guy hates you. He hates you both. He lied. He knew vampire Bill was dead.”
Eric narrowed his eyes. “Can you show me what you saw. I might be able to explain.”
Hunter nodded and went over, grabbing Eric’s hand. They were both quiet for a minute, not to mention serious.
He let go of Eric’s hand and came back over to sit in his seat again. Eric looked a little confused when he told me that ‘somehow’ Hunter saw the diner the night Sookie quit.
“You said she was evil.”
Eric nodded. “I did. I was being nasty to her because she is mean to Momma. Arlene isn’t truly evil. She’s just foolish.”
“The guy. Why does he hate you? Why did he lie?”
“He lied so that humans wouldn’t know about Supe business. That’s all. He was keeping things quiet. And he hates us…”
The coward raised his eye brow at me. I started shaking my head. “He hates us because he loves Momma.”
Hunter giggled. “And he can’t have her.”
When Sookie came back and sat down, I didn’t need to look. I could smell Sam right behind her. No more than 4 feet away.
“Hey Sam. I’d like you meet Manen and Hunter. Guys, this is Sam Merlotte. He was my boss when I worked here.”
“This place is a dump.” Hunter was still in a bad mood and I put my hand over his mean little mouth, but it was so hard to not laugh, it should have gone over my own.
“Far, why a collie?” Oh, Hell. Manen too? We weren’t ever going to be allowed to leave the house with them again.
Eric was better at being stone faced than me. “Shhh. I don’t know min kara, why do you choose the osprey? Be nice or Momma will be cross with us. How have you been Merlotte?”
“I’ve been better; it’s hard to find a waitress as good as Sookie. I miss having her around here, a lot of people do.”
“Why you don’t just hire 3 Arlenes then?” Hunter. Oh shit. Seriously? Sookie was going to beat all of our asses.
Sookie shot him a dirty look so he apologized for being a wise ass. This was turning into a train wreck.
“Sookie, can I talk to you in my office?” Don’t even think about it asshole.
“No, they’d hear you anyway and you know it. Have a seat. What’s on your mind, Sam?”
He filled the empty seat next to Jason and had the shittiest expression on his face. Like he found his wife in bed with his brother. “Sookie, can you please explain what’s going on? Where did these kids come from? How is the vampire out during the day? What’s with Herveaux?”
“The kids are ours. The vampire is out during the day because he’s old enough to make his own decisions. Anything else? My Burger Lafayette is getting cold.”
“Sookie, fuck your burger.”
One of these days I’ll remember to ask her what she’s ‘doing’ when her hand goes to my knee, but it’s almost like I can feel her taking the edge off for me. Not to mention paralyzed from the ribs down.
“You watch your language around my kids, Sam.”
“What are you doing with your life? Where are you working? Do you even have time to work with them taking turns?” Never mind that he was just pissed that he wasn’t getting ‘a turn’. Prick
“You had the chance to be polite Sam. Let us eat our lunch so we can get out of here.”
“Sookie, I have the right to feel jilted. I’m an alright guy and we almost gave it a shot until they turned up.”
I couldn’t stay quiet anymore. I tried making a joke. “Ever hear of shit or get off the pot? He knew you for what, 3 years?” It made her laugh at least.
Eric added to it. “Alcide is right Lover, it only took a moment for me to want to be with you. If it took him 3 years to ask you out, how long do you think the engagement would have been?” The kids had heard us so we were all laughing and the confused look on Sam’s face was priceless.
“You two behave. Or else.”
“What was that?”
“My telepathy. Seriously Sam, what do you want from me? Do you want me to drop everything and run to you? We won’t work. I am with Eric and Pam and Alcide. We have a very happy nest. You and I have only shared a few kisses and just because we kiss well, doesn’t mean that we would be any good together. All I can offer you is friendship. You used to be my friend. Do we have a chance at that anymore? Do you want to just cut bait?.” He can’t just be friends. He was ‘too close’. He’s still a shifter and if he can’t ‘have’ her, I’d doubt that he’d take friendship as a consolation prize.
“Are you serious? Are you really with all of them?” So far, three guys had stood up, all from the pack. All ready to jump on Merlotte’s shit if he didn’t back down.
“Yes, I am. I’ve been keeping myself busy. How have you been?”
“Look at you. You’ve lost weight, you’ve gotten a piercing, you’ve gotten a bullseye and you’re dressing like a trick. Sookie, what have they pulled you into?” What an asshole! She looks great. Before or after. If her hand left my knee, or Eric’s for that matter, he’d have been toast.
“I’ve actually gained 15 pounds because I’ve been working out, but I’ve gone down a size; thanks for noticing. My belly button isn’t the only piercing, the ‘bullseye’ was my idea and I do NOT dress like a ‘trick’, I dress like someone who is finally over her body image issues.”
“Chere, they are using you.” I’m buying Manen something big! She kicked him under the table.
“OK, Mr. Insight, I’ll bite. What are they using me for?”
“For your… stuff and you know it.”
“Oh, Sam… I know a lot of things and you’re wrong about that. I haven’t worked for them in months.”
“If I were talking about the telepathy, I’d have used the word.”
“There’s a lot of holes in your theory, Sam.”
“Neither one of these guys have ever had Mars/Venus woes, for starters.”
I answered Eric, trying to calm myself down. “Pop culture bullshit. Miscommunication between the sexes.” He nodded with an eye roll.
“Oh! That’s great! You’re going to defend them by starting with reminding me they have reputations as whores!”
As soon as the word ‘whore’ came out of his mouth, Manen kicked him again. She’s too young for a car. I wonder if she’d like a computer.
When he yelled at Manen, he had no idea how lucky he was that Sookie was holding us still. All we could do is growl. “Sookie, that’s enough. You need to let us go.”
She gave me a look, slightly panicked, but she kept the hold.
“Ok, you think they’re just in it for the sex, but you’re conflicted. You’re disgusted with me for being with either of them since you think Vampires and Weres are monsters. You need to let it go.”
“I should have staked Bill Compton the second he walked in here since he’s to thank for dragging you in to all this shit.”
“Gran is responsible for my meeting Eric. She sent me to Fangtasia to try to find out who killed Maudette and Dawn. Bill was just my tour guide on the crusade.” Fuck. No wonder Jason lashed out at her. He was why Gran was murdered, well Rene Lanier was. If the only reason she was with Bill was to find the real killer… Poor bastard. It seemed to dawn on Eric at the same time.
“And him?” He nodded towards me. “You can’t tell me that it wasn’t Bill’s fault you had to get wrapped up in Were shit to.” He said ‘Were’ like he was any fucking different.
“Not Bill, his maker. I was hired, not used, to find Bill’s work, not necessarily Bill. It just so happened that Eric was better at finding a tour guide for me than I was.”
“And then he dragged you into the politics with the Were war and the Packmaster nonsense.”
“Uh, I dragged him into the Were War, remember? And he turned to me for help because we are friends. I like to help my friends whenever I can. Which is more than I can say for you.” I managed to move my leg, pulling it back beside the chair. She wasn’t as focused as she could be, but she caught me and jerked my foot back to where it had been to let me know I was caught.
“That’s not true! I’ve helped you out whenever I could.”
“Granted. You’ve helped me and had my back, but every time you did, you had it in your head that you hoped I’d ‘learn my lesson’. You wanted me to stop looking for trouble and settle down. I’ve got news for you; Trouble found me. I didn’t have to look for it. I didn’t need a lecture. When things got hairy, I went to Eric or Alcide because they would help me find a solution rather than ridicule me for keeping bad company.”
She finally seemed to notice that she had back up all over the bar. “Stand down guys. Thanks though.”
She was answered with a collective ‘yes majesty’ when Eric and I gave them an ‘up nod’ to let them know to humor her but stay alert.
“What the hell is that about? Why are they all looking at me like that?”
I was still trying to get out of her hold. “Because, jerk off, they don’t appreciate the way you’re talking to their Queen.”
Eric growled out, “Yes, Queen. She is the Supreme Mystical Judicial Regent in North America and in March when we wed she will be the Vampire Queen of Louisiana and Arkansas. Even if you don’t like to run with a pack, you should at least talk to someone to get the news.”
Jason leaned over and put his arm around Sam’s shoulder, giving it a squeeze and cracking something while looking as friendly as a Care Bear. “Sam, you screwed up and didn’t take your chance. You lied to her for years about what you are. You hid your feelings for her. Hell, there was a time when I’d ‘a gone to bat for you, but now she’s got real friends and a real family and you ain’t got no claim on her. Man, take a hike.”
When Jason let him go, Sam stared at him. He was probably confused as to how Stackhouse managed to hurt him without trying, but he stormed off rather than kept the scene going.
Once things settled down a bit, Sookie leaned over and whispered into my ear. “I guess you haven’t gotten around to getting your expense cards back?”
I’m pretty sure that was what she would call an ‘oh shit moment’. I braced my abs, expecting an elbow. “You knew?”
She gave me a dirty look, but Eric distracted her by laughing. “Does everyone think I’m an idiot? Yes, I knew. I can spot a Were a mile away. Merlotte’s might see a dozen per week that aren’t Hotshots or here because I know them. My first shift back from Jackson I must’ve seen 20. Oh, yeah and I’m a MIND READER.”
Eric was still laughing at me.
“Northman? Would you like to tell me how dumb you think I am? Since you had vampire in my woods and Pam was babysitting me and leaving notes for me.” The cocky drained from his lips when he realized he was in the hot seat.
She sat there, ignoring us both for a minute. I hate the fucking silent treatment from her… “Y’all both expected me to whine and throw a hissy fit about it didn’t you?”
“Well, recalcitrant Sookie would have. No worries though. I know you worry because you love me.”
All of a sudden I was breathing again, relieved.
By the time the waitress came by to check on us, Sookie had managed to pull another miracle out of her ass. As if fixing Tara’s financial woes and gifting an antebellum estate to the DGD weren’t enough, Sookie managed to put her witch friend into her old house so that it wouldn’t be sitting empty.
Holly had already talked to her boyfriend and cried all over Sookie by the time the Mayor brought the endowment contract back too Sookie.
The old woman with him nearly took Sookie’s cheeks off pinching them and then yanked her damn hand to drool over her engagement ring.
“Miss Sookie Stackhouse! I declare! That is a mighty auspicious ring to be wearing on such an important finger, young lady.”
“That’s because it’s my engagement ring, Mrs. Fortenberry.”
“Engagement! To who?”
Both of the kids ‘fingered’ Eric. I couldn’t help but laugh while Sookie introduced him.
“Well! Mr. Northman, where are you from? What do you do?”
“I’m from Sweden originally. I own a bar.” And half of Shreveport.
“I swear, Sookie, I thought you were gonna be dating vampires to your grave.” That alone made it hard to not laugh my ass off, but when she went to give his shoulder a friendly (approving) pat, her lil’ole hand hit cold, stiff vampire. A wall of it.
Either me or her was going to choke on our tongue! I about fell out of chair when Eric flashed fang when he winked at her. I hope like hell she was wearing her Depends!
That shit was awesome.
Sookie had to choke down a cold lunch by the time everyone left her alone long enough to eat and when we tried to leave, Merlotte had himself a dip shit moment.
He grabbed her elbow, pulling her back from between me and Eric.
“I’m sorry Sam. The message you left led me to believe that we could be friends. Don’t worry, we won’t come back. I won’t bother you again.”
“Sookie, I’m in love with you.”
She yanked her elbow away. “You’ll get over it.”
She was through the door with the kids before she realized that Eric and I weren’t with her.
We both bent, advancing, pushing him back. Taking territory in his place. Fuck him.
I growled at him, “Not yours, never was.”
“I have the right to talk to her.”
Eric snarled, “No…”
We backed him into the bar in front of everyone in town and if he wasn’t already terrified, he was ready to shit himself when ‘backup’ circled around us.
“…She isn’t your barmaid anymore.”
I growled against his face. “The only thing she is to you is your Queen. Next time you see her…”
Eric finished, “…Show her the respect she deserves.”
“I’m not a vampire. I don’t have a queen!” He was trying to save face. I’ll give him that.
Jason came in behind us. “Hey guys, she’s gonna flip her lid if either of ya touch him. How long ya think that hissy fit will last?”
I fucking hate how right he was. We both stood down and backed up a step.
Jason stepped between us and smiled at Sam. “You might just be dumber than me, asshole.” He pulled his fist back and gut punched Merlotte, doubling him over.
Eric and I just stood there staring at Jason.
“Come on. One of us needed to do it and I have more practice getting her shitty looks. I ain’t gotta sleep with her. ‘Mon, kids are waiting.”
When we got out to the truck, Sookie tried to lay into us. “What did y’all do!?”
Jason took the stand. “Hold your horses, Sis! Damn! They were just spooking him. They didn’t lay a damn finger on the jerk!”
“If you ask me, someone shoulda put their fist through him! But they heeled. You gotta stop being a damn brat about that shit too! If you keep it up, you’re gonna make ‘em look like pussies for not sticking up for you. Now stick a sock in it!”
I changed the subject. I had to. If I didn’t, Sookie was going to ‘see’ what my new hero did. “What else is on the agenda? You said sporting goods and groceries, right? Why not hit the Super Wal-mart? Two birds, one stone?”
Sookie was about to argue with me, but Manen started ‘crying’. “I hate that! Why do people say ‘kill two birds with one stone’? That’s so mean!”
Oh shit. She shifts into a bird. Open mouth, insert foot, Alcide. I’m such an asshole sometimes. I slid over and hugged her. “Manen, I’m sorry. I wasn’t even thinking. I won’t say it anymore. I promise.”
It felt like she was choking and when I sat back to look at her, she was smiling. “Gotcha!”
“You turd! I… You! You were just waiting for someone to tie you in for that one!”
“So!” She was cackling and everyone laughed with her.
Sookie always starts at the back of the store and works her way to the front, so I found the opposite corner of the store. Lawn & Garden.
“Y’all are on hell of a team.” They all beamed at me.
“Stackhouse, you said something about someone punching Merlotte so that your sister wouldn’t be surprised to ‘see’ it didn’t you.”
He winked at me. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m about to start a church on these two though. Manen’s joke made one hell of a distraction. I barely noticed when Hunter started ‘privatizing’ things.”
He nodded. “I put my shields up and out.” He’d used his shield to keep Sookie out of everyone’s heads.
I closed my eyes and I dropped my head back. “I don’t know if I should be proud of y’all or… Naw. I’m proud. That was GENIUS. Nice work!” I held my hands out and slapped them all five. “I’ll brag on ya to Far as soon as I get the chance. How would you guys like a computer?”
We were loading a basket full of video games for their new computer when Sookie started looking for us. I ignored her long enough to make sure the kids knew I was getting the computer for ‘educational reasons’.
When we got home, I pulled Eric aside while Sookie was distracted with Tobin to tell him what the ‘kids’ had done. He got as much a laugh out of it as I did.
“It’s a shame they aren’t old enough for cars.”
I snorted. “And we’re already going to Disney… Hey, what’s with Tobin?”
“What do you mean?”
“You worry about Sookie as much as I do, but you’ve got no problems with him.”
“You can read him?”
“He’s a kid. There’s not much to read. Mostly he repeats ‘don’t fuck up’ to himself. Work, school, family. That’s it. Sookie’s right. He is a good kid. You should stop picking on him because he reminds you of you.”
Asshole. “I thought you said you weren’t my therapist.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll send you a bill.”
Sookie, Eric, Jason and I were oiling gloves and Jason was running in and out like he was playing Hot Potato, putting well oiled gloves under the cars in the driveway to relax them.
Things were moving along just fine when that jerk off who grabbed Sookie’s ass came to the back door asking if we own a cat.
“Sir one of the guards found a dead one in the woods. It looked like something got to it. Throat’s missing.”
Sookie yelled so loud, it made Dallas jump. “Yay!”
Maybe things were starting to get to her. I was staring at her, Eric too, when she realized she sounded a bit fruity.
“What? Bubba’s here! He must’ve gotten here just before sunrise and gone to ground. Goose, could you tell one of the local crew to come in for a minute, spread the word about a strange Vampire that looks like an Elvis impersonator on the property and have someone burn or bury ‘hello kitty’ please. The Jackson crew probably already knows about Bubba.”
She tossed him a can of oil and a glove and he went on his way, but I was still worried she’d lost her nut. Even as she explained to Febes and Dozer about Bubba before sending them back out to explain about the Elvis Vampire.
Jason hadn’t heard the urban legend apparently because he got too excited.
He sprinted outside and back in just a few minutes and jumped right back into conversation. “Speaking of music, y’all should think about getting a piano or something. The kids and me was watching Freaky Friday, the new one, and they could tell that the band wasn’t really playing on screen. Hunter even knew what some of the chords shoulda looked like.”
Eric looked impressed, maybe even dazed. Sookie giggled at him. “No shit. He’s like Pan.”
I was trying to remember who Pan was, but Sookie saved me. “Greek god of hunting, pasture, spring, virility and music. That’s my brother.”
We knew it needed to happen, but I was thinking that it should be a little more organized. Sookie jumped headlong into explaining to her brother about their Fae ancestry and abilities. The poor bastard hadn’t ever heard of a Faerie before and started off thinking his sister was calling him a fairy. He had his moments. That wasn’t one of them.
She started at the beginning and by the time she slowed down, I thought he might be close to drooling. He was struggling, but he was keeping up. That, by itself, was impressive.
But when we started rattling off possible abilities, I could’ve shit…
It turned out that without much effort he managed to burn a spoon with his hands. Not like Sookie with her fire balls. His hand was on fucking fire.
Eric held up a cookie sheet and I watched his hand phase through it like… like… like it was nothing.
The fast healing was already established. He was all kinds of fucked up when he was bit and was ready to run on the next moon. And since I saw him bend Merlotte in half earlier, strength was something he’d need to watch. He probably wasn’t as strong as Eric, but he was at least as strong as me. He’d carried that buck… shit. He was definitely stronger than me. Now Eric and I had another list to start.
Jason couldn’t pop, but Sookie could. It didn’t seem to bother him since he was preoccupied with the idea of walking through walls.
Fuck. I was on overload.
By the time Pam got home from work, I needed a nap. She gave Sookie and Eric a kiss and then gave me a kiss I didn’t have the brain power for. She gave everyone an update on work and then dragged me upstairs.
She closed the door behind us. “What’s going on? You’re acting strange.”
“Shit. I’m sorry. It’s been a weird fucking day.”
“Weird… Fucking weird.” I laid back on the bed and it must have taken me 20 minutes to tell her where the day had taken us and she straddled my lap again and listened. Better than I thought she could. I was impressed.
“Ok. Weird sounds like a good word for it.”
“Thank you. The cherry on top of it was that I just watched Sookie’s well intentioned, but border line retarded brother show off that he’s almost as powerful as her.”
She smiled at me. “You need to get changed and track Sookie down for a wake up.”
“That might be a good idea.”
“Better than good. We haven’t fucked in a day and a half and I’ve been sitting on your dick with no results.”
I sobbed out a laugh. I really was mind fucked. “I’m sorry.”
“Let’s blame Eric.”
She shrugged. “Seems like it’s his turn.”
I couldn’t help it. I laughed. “Thanks.”
She winked at me and went to my closet, tossing fresh jeans and a t-shirt out to me and telling me to hurry up and find Sookie before she went outside.
I felt better right away, like I’d gotten a full 8 hours.
I followed Sookie out to the garage and then to the tent. She wasn’t letting me help, but she let me watch her work. It drove me nuts. Even growing up around Weres, the women would still let the men carry shit THAT heavy. A keg weighs 150ish… and she was lifting it over her head like it was a case of beer. That shit had to stop. ASAP. Now that she was pregnant, Eric might not think of it because of how strong he is, but I’d always heard that pregnant women shouldn’t lift more than a gallon of milk…and she’s walking around with 20 of them.
I was watching her do in the tent what she usually does in the kitchen. I guess the word would be ‘flit’. Like a cartoon fairy.
Pam caught up to us.
“You look like you feel better.” And she leaned into me.
I gave her a nod. “As a matter of fact, I feel better.”
“Mind if I test that?”
I smiled at her. “What do you…” I didn’t get to finish. She started kissing me. It wasn’t a little peck, not a ‘hi, how’s it goin’. She pulled my bottom lip into her mouth and rubbed her hip against my dick, definitely getting a reaction this time around.
My eyes were closed and I’d almost forgotten where I was when I felt a warm body press against Pam’s back and she moaned into my mouth. Sookie was chewing her neck from behind and had her hands on Pam’s tits. God fucking help me. They were going to get me killed, but I was willing to risk it. Pam turned around, rubbing her ass into my dick. I was dying. My dick was throbbing. Sookie and Pam were making out. One hand was on Sookie’s ass and the other had a hold on Pam’s tit. I was chewing Pam’s neck and didn’t even realize Eric was in the tent until Pam started kissing him. Fuck. I spent about 2 seconds being worried and went right back to participating in what might be my own death.
Sookie started rubbing my dick from between Pam’s legs…
The four of us could have fit in a phone booth and my dick was so hard I gave two shits that no less than 30 eyes were on us.
I was so close to coming that my dick hurt when Elvis fucking blew it!
Sookie untied herself from us to go tend to the pile of shit and dirt from Memphis.
Eric just rolled his eyes. “He has impeccable timing.”
No shit. “How sacred is he?”
He growled, “This isn’t the first time he interrupted me.”
Judging by the piss in Eric’s veins, I’m going to guess ‘pretty fucking sacred’.
We were all eating and Jason was considerate enough to bring Sookie and me a cup of beer.
Sookie went to take a sip of hers. “Don’t even think about it.”
“If I don’t drink it, he’ll know something is up so I turned it to near beer. K.” She stuck her tongue out at me.
Eric had been talking to Tobin so he joined the conversation late. “What is this about?”
“She shouldn’t drink now. It’s no good for them.”
“And she is drinking it anyway?”
“She changed it to non alcoholic.”
“I can drink some once in a while in the end to relax me if I need it, but early on, it messes with the development.”
“A lot has changed. People know more now than they did in my time.” Uh, I’d hope so.
She tried to make him feel better. “Not that much. The big changes are that medicine has replaced superstition. Alcohol is bad in the beginning, ok once in a while in the end. The mom shouldn’t stay in bed the whole time and should be just as active as she wants to be unless there are other issues. Sex is good, it increases blood flow to the right places. The bulk of your education will come with caring for them afterwards. And no matter how much you read and research, the c-section is going to scare the shit out of both of you.”
Oh fuck! No. “What?”
“The c-section. I’m not a big girl and in spite of twins usually being small and early, they will be here as scheduled and full sized, over 7 pounds each. There isn’t going to be room for them to get into position. I won’t even go into labor. Dr. Ludwig is going to do a scheduled c-section in the hospital.”
All I could think about was the 51 hours that I spent pacing the hall of the hospital when Tommy was born. Janice nearly died. She nearly died having a c-section. Oh my god! I CANNOT lose the best friend I’ve ever fucking had. I was freaking out… WE were freaking out.
She grabbed us and yanked us into the garage with her, slamming the door shut. She acted like she was mad at us for worrying.
“Honey, Miertje was a long time ago and she didn’t heal like I do. We will be fine. You and Alcide and Pam will all be there.” He didn’t say anything, so she turned on me. “Alcide, sweetie, Tommy was a c-section and Janice is fine.”
“Janice almost died.”
“Alcide. Janice almost died because of her blood pressure. That was the reason for the c-section…” Was that supposed to make me feel better? One baby nearly killed my sister. My best friend is barely ‘full grown’ and she’s going to have two (not one, TWO) babies cut out of her.
“…Guys, I know y’all are worried because you’ve both seen some horrible shit go wrong during a pregnancy and now with Crystal fresh on the brain it’s understandable that you do some freaking out. Do you trust me?”
I nodded. I do trust her.
“We are going to be very lucky. The pregnancy will not affect much of our lives at all until the very end. I will have cravings and that’s about it. You will not have the horrible mood swings to suffer because I won’t have them. My blood pressure and sugar will be right within normal range. I’ll even be jogging well into it. My libido won’t run hot and cold like most women and I’ll actually wear Eric out in bed because of the hormones. Everything will be fine.”
“Promise.” Eric and I had said it in unison.
“I promise. You’ll both relax a lot in 6 weeks.”
Eric beat me to it. “What happens in six weeks?”
“That’s when you’ll be able to put your head to my stomach and hear their heartbeats…” That’ll be the longest 6 weeks of my life. Thank God I seem to be settling in with a vampire. I’d be a nervous fucking wreck if I ever had my own.
It wasn’t on purpose. Eric and I sat down next to each other and created ‘the lap’ again.
It actually made me feel better when she moved her plate to sit on our legs while she finished eating. God knows I wasn’t eating anything else. I had been in a good mood again after my ‘wake up’, even better after making out with Sookie and Pam. It was all undone now.
I sat there and worried under her.
Worry isn’t really a strong enough word really. Agonize might be more fitting, but I could feel Sookie working on that for me. I love her. I really do. If anyone else tried to fix my mood, I’d pitch a fit of which the likes had never been seen, but Sookie knew what I needed. I like my feelings, but I know they get in the way of shit. I don’t mind when she takes the edge off. Like a stiff drink.
Pam eventually made her way over, just as I was unclenching my fists and Jason had disappeared with the kids.
She slid onto Sookie’s lap, her knee pressing into my thigh, rubbing against my balls.
They stared at each other long enough that I was getting hard, just waiting for them to do something, anything.
Pam started the game, jerking Sookie’s head to the side by a handful of hair and started gnawing her neck. I swear, I got Sookie’s chills. They started kissing. I could smell Sookie’s blood and they were both getting wet. They were killing me and every other man in the tent. Then, just as suddenly as the show started, it stopped. Pam slid from Sookie’s lap and got a spank as thanks for helping with the tease.
Jason came back from setting up the ball field and I was still hard from the bliss babe lap show. So when I noticed Tray I decided to ‘use’ him. If I didn’t know any better, I’d swear he was kicking himself in the ass for not spending more nights at Amelia’s place. Wishful thinking.
“Hey Tray!” I jerked my head and waited for him to join us.
“We were talking and it turns out that their mom’s maiden name was Rhys.”
He started to chuckle. “No shit! That explains a lot!”
Poor Jason. He still wasn’t connecting the dots without using his fingers to count. “How’d that come up? I was thinking about them today when we was at Merlotte’s. The Stackhouses, well the Hales always kept to themselves, but Poppa Buck and Nanna Lil’s house was always full people and every weekend they had cookouts and played games just like this… Holy Shit! You saying that we got Were in us too?” Hello. Good morning brain. He might just need a jump start once in a while. Like an old Chevy.
Me and Tray laughed as Sookie tried to make the bastard feel better. “Big brother, I just found out.”
I fucked up and started with math. Fractions didn’t seem to be his forte. “…It seems that you and your sister are more supe than human.”
Tray helped move things along, pointing at Sookie. “Being Buck’s grandkid explains why this one is such a bizwiz! Buck never made a bad business move. And everyone who met him joined the pack.” That would explain why strays from neighboring packs have been gravitating toward Long Tooth for the last couple of months. Normally, a coup scares off new members. Sookie being around has had the reverse effect.
“At least she didn’t get Mom’s jealous genes or Nana Lil’s smell…” Sookie just stared at him, but I knew what he was talking about. Lil smelled like toasted marshmallow.
“…Well, Mom and Daddy used to get into awful fights because girls would fall all over themselves around him. Mom would blame Daddy and chew him a new one when they’d get home even if he ain’t did nothing. And Nana ALWAYS smelled like cookies, cake or something. I thought that she spent a lot of time in the kitchen but… Sook, you remember that summer we went to Grand Isle with them right after our folks died? I swear she smelled like that when we were in the gulf. That must have been a pack thing. There must have been 50 people there for your birthday party.”
Sookie faked a laugh. “You mean the one where you pushed my face into my cake when I blew my candles out?”
“Hey, I paid for that right away… remember!”
Holy Shit! I remember that. “Some kid saw it happen and kicked his knees out from under him.” I wanted to kick his ass. He thought it was hilarious. One minute he was laughing his ass off, the next minute he was getting his mouth packed with ice because his chin hit the table on his way down.
He kept talking. “Besides, you and that girl you played with all week lost my flip flops using them as Barbie surfboards. What was her name again? Janet? Jamie?”
I helped him out. “Janie. She went by Janie when she was little.”
That would explain why Janice said she felt like she’d known Sookie forever when they met last year.
I smiled at the back of her head as Sookie finished the story. “Janie and I were fast friends. We sat on the beach for most of the week and built sand castles. Her brother even collected mermaid’s tears and shells for us to us as decorations.”
Well, I’ll be damned. I met Sookie when I was 10. We’d spent a week around the same campfire as kids. There’s another mystery solved. Why I felt fine talking about Were shit to her the day I met her.
Fuck me running.
Bubba was a bad ass mother fucker in the outfield and hit a fucking cannon of a line drive. The dumb shit was also the best player Texassippi had. Russell complained that he kept getting dirt under his nails. The sad part was that the Weres, considering how strong and fast Vampire are, should have been nothing more than balance keeping the teams full. They had 4 vampire and we had three and we beat their asses into the ground. Angela and Tobin made an unstoppable fucking pair on 1st and 3rd. I caught for Sookie. Eric and Jas were a wall in the outfield. Just the two of them, Eric took high, Jas took low and Pam and Dozer filled the mid field.
The final score was in the 40s on both sides. It was more of a home run derby than anything, but it was a fucking blast.
I didn’t even worry about Sookie except the one time she slid into third base. If we’re going to play sports whenever we have company, baseball gets my vote.
When the game was over, the kids went barreling inside after snacks while everyone watched (and found another reason to be scared of the Stackhouses) as Sookie and Jason lit the monster fire pits with their hands.
Sookie had gotten the stuff for S’mores and there was damn near a feeding frenzy even though she’d gotten enough for everyone to have plenty. Jason helped Hunter roast his marshmallows, but it really seemed like Hunter just wanted to be next to the fire.
Pam, Sookie, Eric and I sat back a little as a group. I was being lazy. Pam was sitting between my legs and I was comfortable, so I didn’t want to get up. I watched Sookie, from her spot between Eric’s knees, whip out a small fire ball to toast a S’more for each of us. Power whore.
Jason tried it, but because of the way his ability worked, he just had to go wash his hands. The marshmallow caught fire.
Once the kids passed out and Eric and I took them up to bed, the fireside chat got more adult. More blood and guts and fucking. Hey, that’s what happens when Supes get together. Kings and Were body guards see a lot of action and as it turns out a bulk of the tales involved a tiny telepathic barmaid that had managed to save most of the asses in the yard.
It was nearly 4 when the kings broke up the fun to go gather their things and Sookie and Eric left to take them all to the airport.
I’d had the wake up just before dinner, but Pam hadn’t been so lucky. She was nodding off between polite goodbyes, so I carried her up to bed.
I peeled her shoes off, surprised that she even owned sneakers and then her jeans.
When I went to pull the covers up for her, she smiled at me.
“Tucking me in?”
“You’re barely awake.”
“Are you coming to bed too?”
“I couldn’t sleep right now if I had to. The wake up.”
She wiggled her eyebrows at me. “I’m not dead yet.”
She grabbed my shirt and pulled me to her, and kissing me.
She purred pulling away. “Have you been with Sookie?”
“Not since we were all in the tent together. Why?”
“You taste a bit like Fae.”
“I don’t know how.”
She chuckled. “Oh, trust me. That isn’t a complaint.”
She pulled me down to the bed and yanked my pants off.
She smiled as she pinned me to the bed, wrists at my sides and giving my dick a long lick before pulling it into her mouth.
Oh god, the shit she could do with her mouth.
Sucking, licking, I wanted my hands, shoving my dick into her throat, pulling away to tease me.
I wanted my hands. Fuck!
She didn’t let them go until she was on me. Moving her hips like a machine. Pumping. Lifting up, torquing back like she was trying to hurt herself.
She was getting close, muffling her yelling by chewing at my chest when her fangs ran out.
She pulled away.
I sat up, grabbed her hair and pulled her to me, kissing, my other hand on her ass moving her.
She shut me up with another kiss.
I pulled her hair back and stared her down, still moving her, helping her ride.
Bossy bitch. I took a deep breath and shoved her mouth onto my neck, pushing her fangs in before she had the chance to fight me.
She only pulled a couple of times before she backed away, coming at the top of her lungs, shaking.
I flipped her over spreading her legs with mine and pushed, hard, folding her legs back, pushing her knees to the mattress until I couldn’t hold out…
I had to let go.
She rolled over and laid next to me staring while I caught my breath. She stared long enough I was starting to feel self conscious.
“Now you’ve done it.”
Shit. “What did I do now?”
“I’ll never tell you to shut up again.” Maybe not when we’re fucking.
“Liar.” I reached down to slap her ass. She ‘ooh’ed and wiggled into my hand. “You’re gonna kill me.”
“Doubtful. I keep a Sookie on standby.”
I was still shaking my head when my phone started ringing.
I bit Pam’s ass, laying over her to get to my pants. She laughed into her pillow and slapped at my ass.
I bit her again. “Yeah.”
“Janice? Hey. Everything alright. You still planning on leaving after breakfast?” Pam started running her fingers down my ribs.
“Uh, well… I’m a little ahead of schedule.”
“Oh yeah?” If Pam kept it up we’d both need a wake up by breakfast.
“I’m about 30 miles east of Monroe.”
“Monroe? You left the house at 4?”
“About that. I was excited to get on the road.”
“You’re going to be here in 2 hours.” Shit. Shit. Shit. Good bye hard on.
“If it’s too early…”
“No, it’s fine.” Except for the yard being full of Weres and the… Shit. Niall. Shit. Explanations.
“Yeah. I’ll make sure Sookie makes enough breakfast.”
“Alcide Herveaux! Don’t you dare! Sookie isn’t a maid.”
“She’s making breakfast for a bunch of people already. She does it every morning. It’s her thing. She’ll be just as happy to feed you as you were to do her hair.”
“Positive. See ya soon.”
She hung up and I sat up, staring at nothing.
Pam tilted her head to the side. “Why so worried?”
“For starters, Eric and I had that errand to run before she gets here.”
“As cryptic as that message from Claudine was, going after Claude wouldn’t yield anything more and there’s no sense in trying to get to Niall now.”
“Then why are you still… rigid?”
“Because my sister dated three guys. My parents approved of all of them and married the one they liked the most. She didn’t get pregnant with her son until Dad suggested she start her family. She’s a little on the conservative side.”
“She can’t be that bad. Sookie promised me I’d like her.”
I narrowed my eyes, teasing her. “Were you worried about meeting my sister?”
She punched my leg. “That’s it. Pillow talk is over.”
I tackled her back, pinning her. “Were you?”
“Fuck you, mutt. Go get your shower.”
“Mutt, my ass. I have show papers, damn mosquito woman. You were nervous about meeting my family. Admit it.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“If you don’t admit it, then my misunderstanding will make one hell of an anecdote. I bet Eric would get a kick out of it.”
She rolled her eyes at me. “You’re an asshole.”
“That’s not news, darlin.”
“Fine. I’ll admit that I was curious about meeting her.”
I smiled at her. “That’s good enough for me.” I leaned in for a kiss.
“For the sake of argument…” Her eyebrow pitched up. She was refusing to finish asking the question.
“Once you get to know each other, I’m golden. My girlfriend, best friend and sister will be very good friends.”
“Didn’t I say pillow talk is over?”
Bossy bitch. I grabbed her nipple between my teeth, pulling it into my mouth and getting a loud moan out of her. “Fine. Get some rest. I’m going to clean up.”
I was freaking out again before I was under the water.